


At A Cellular Level

by emilyevanston



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Smut, Torture, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:42:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: Alex Swann has lived a tortured life.  She has been broken down and built into something else.  When she loses the only person she trusts SHIELD don't know what to do with her.  Until Steve Rogers steps in.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve rode the elevator down alone gazing across the Washington skyline.  After the events in New York he had wanted to get back into the world, protect people again.  SHIELD seemed to be the place to do that.  With SHIELD he could be the soldier he knew how to be.  So when Fury had invited him he’d accepted.  

The elevator stopped and Steve stepped out into the lobby.  He started striding across the room towards the exit.  He could feel eyes following him as he walked.  He hated feeling like some kind of circus freak. Hopefully people would get used to seeing him around so he wouldn’t feel like a spectacle.  

Natasha Romanoff popped up in front of him, like she’d appeared out of nowhere.

“Captain Rogers.” She said, a half smile on her face.

“Agent Romanoff.” Steve replied guarded.  

“Relax, Steve. I’m not going to bite.”  She said.  “I’m happy to see you’ve joined our ranks.  It will be fun.”  

Steve didn’t reply. He liked Natasha, but as yet he didn’t fully trust her.  

“I do have something I want to run past you.  Can you follow me?”  She said and started walking back to the elevator.  Steve hesitated for a moment, and then followed.

As the doors closed behind them Steve spoke.  “What is it, Natasha?”

She shook her head. “It’s difficult to explain.  SHIELD is doing something … I don’t know how I feel about it.”  She said.  She looked really conflicted, something Steve had never seen in her before.  “You have a pretty strong moral compass though.”

“I like to think so.”  Steve said.  

They stopped on a basement level and stepped out into a long white corridor.  Steve followed Natasha to a room.  It was narrow and dark, with a glass wall that looked into a larger well lit area that resembled a bedroom.  It was sparsely decorated, but there was a poster featuring him on the wall.  He couldn’t see anyone inside, so he walked to the glass panel.  It was then he noticed a girl, just a small child, lying on the floor.   She looked around seven or eight, she was tiny. A small frail pale looking child.

“Who is she, Natasha?”  Steve asked.  He felt a kind of anger building in him, and he wasn’t even sure why.  He had no idea why SHIELD would have a child locked in a room.

“Her name is Alexandra Swann.  She is enhanced.”  Natasha answered and pulled a file from one of the draws that ran along.  

“Enhanced like me?”

Natasha laughed. “No, not like you.”  She said.  “She is quite dangerous really. She can alter cells.  They call her a healer.  Which is true.  She can heal herself and others.  She was actually there when you were pulled from the ice, she kept your body from going into shock as it thawed.  But she is much, much more than that.  She can alter her form, the form of other living things.  She could turn a plant into a dog.  She could remove an organ from your body and she wouldn’t even need to touch you.”

Steve peered in at the form lying on the ground unmoving.  So much power in such a little body.

A SHIELD agent came through the bedroom door.  “Get up off the floor, Alex!”  He snapped at the tiny little shape.  It shifted and made a pained whimpering noise.  The agent grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the bed.  She did not look well, he head rolled as she moved to the bed, and when she sat down, she had trouble sitting up.  The agent handled her roughly.  He pulled a syringe from his pocket and injected something in her upper arm.

Steve’s fist clenched.  Natasha put her hand on his arm.  “It’s a sedative.”

“She’s just a child.  What’s happening here?”  Steve asked, his voice was low, and he was using all his willpower not to just storm in there and grab the girl.

“That’s not exactly true.”  Natasha replied.  She handed a photo to Steve from the file.  It showed a young woman, in the same room.   A photo taken from almost exactly where they were standing now.  The woman still had the pale skin and raven hair of the child he was looking at, but she looked around 20.  She was sitting at a table with Phil Coulson and they were both laughing.  “That is how I first saw her.  Though she doesn’t know me.  She can change her form.  I think she’s made herself look younger to protect herself.”

“Natasha, whatever is happening here, you’d better tell me.”  Steve said, he was now confused and had no idea what he was doing here.  The agent had left the girl alone again, and as soon as he had closed the door she fell on the bed and stopped moving.

“Alexandra was found at a facility run by an organisation known as AIM.  Her father was a scientist there.  He’d been injecting her with his version of the super soldier serum they used on you.  One of the thousands that so many other have tried to replicate.”  She paused for a moment, rifling through the papers.  “She’s actually nineteen.  So still, not old, but not the child you’re looking at.  When her powers manifested at AIM she was only a child.  Around thirteen.  They fitted her with this device in her spine.  It meant they could control her gross motor function.  They used her as a weapon, and they tortured her.”  She handed Steve a photograph face down. “That one is hard to look at.  They would perform vivisection on her.  You know, when something is dissected while still fully conscious.   They wanted to test her bodies abilities at repairing itself.”

Steve turned the picture over and felt physically ill.  She was a child in this photograph, and she was lying on a steel table, cut open, some of her organs had been removed.  And she was screaming, her face contorted in pure pain and terror.  Her eyes looked like they were creating a form of electricity.  He turned the picture back over and dropped it to the floor.  Natasha picked it up and slid it back into the file.

“Phil Coulson was the one that found her.  He disabled the device in her spine.  On the way out of the building they passed an AIM scientist who was being placed under arrest.  She tore him into so many pieces they weren’t able to identify his body.  A few agents who witnessed it quit on the spot.  She was pretty damaged as you can imagine.”  Natasha paused again.  She had more to say, but was thinking about how to say it.

“So she’s here because she’s dangerous and they drug her to keep her powers under control?”  Steve asked.  He didn’t know what Natasha wanted from him?  His advice?  For him to storm in there and save her?  To assure her he thought they were doing the right thing?

“Yes and no.” Natasha sighed.  “Phil got through to her.  It took a lot of work. But she trusted him.  She opened up to him.  Like I said, I never met her.  I was a contingency plan.  She has some key phrases that have been programmed into her.  If she hears them she’ll pass out.  I have one.  There are others who know of her but have never met her that have others.  But I had watched her and Phil together from here, and he’d told me about her.   She was always going to be scared of the world, but she trusted him.  And he was sure she could go and function in society.  The poster of you, that’s him.  He shared comics and stories about you with her.  She saw you as an inspiration.  You were both made of the same thing, and if you could be good, she wanted to be good too.  When she had the opportunity to help you, hearing Phil tell it, she was as excited as a kid on their birthday.  She got to help her hero.  She was never a prisoner here, Steve.  She still technically isn’t.  She was here because she was scared of the world and Phil was helping her.”

“So what happened?  Why is she like _this_ now?”  

“She had another handler.  He told her about what happened to Phil.  She lost it.  He got hurt.  They started sedating her as a precaution.  She can still sort of use her abilities sedated, but she has no energy to.  I’m worried about her though, Steve.  This is not the girl I saw with Phil.  She does not resemble the person he spoke of.  I came to check on her a week ago.  I have been watching that guy with her.  I think she’s reverted to a child because she’s scared of him.  He man handles her a lot.  I think as a child she thinks maybe he will be more sympathetic to her.  Or maybe I’m projecting.  Maybe she has just completely reverted to childhood as a coping mechanism for losing the person she saw as a father figure.  I don’t know.”

Steve sighed, his shoulders slumped.  “What do you want from me, Natasha?”

She shook her head sadly.  “Tell me SHIELD are doing the right thing?  Get her out of here if they aren’t.  I don’t know.  This feels wrong to me Steve, but I’m not used to knowing what the right thing is.”

“If you think it’s wrong, why don’t you take her out of here?”

Natasha looked at her feet.  “I did.”  She said softly.

Steve was shocked, he wasn’t sure if he heard her right.  “You did?  Did I hear that right?”

“She is so scared of everything.  She doesn’t know me and she freaked out.  She wouldn’t go with me.”

Steve leaned against the glass his arms folded.  He felt stuck.  If Natasha was this worried then there was something wrong.  It didn’t feel right that’s for sure.  But could he just go in there and take her out of here without any repercussions?  And then what anyway?  Where would he take her?   “You think she’d go with me?”

“I don’t know. You’re her hero.  She might.  All I know is that we try that, or she stays here drugged forever.  And for her, that really does mean forever.”

The SHIELD agent was back again.  He had a bowl of something this time.  “Alex!  Sit up!”  He snapped.  Alex didn’t move, so he wrestled her into a sitting position.  He went to spoon some food into her mouth, she took it initially, but then spat it at him.  He dropped the bowl to the floor, soup spilled across the tiles.  He slapped her across the face, her head rocked back and she slumped on the bed.  

That was it.  Steve was furious.  “Take me in there, Romanoff.”  He ordered.

She jogged to the hall and turned the corner and opened the door into the bedroom. Steve stormed inside

“Get your hands off her.”  Steve spat.  

The agent turned suddenly.  His first response was to strike a defensive pose.  When he saw what he was facing he dropped it.  “I’m sorry Captain Rogers, but this doesn’t concern you.”  He said.

“You just hit a child.  That concerns me.”  Steve said.  “I’m taking her out of here.  You won’t stop me.”

He could see the agent consider fighting him, his body tensed momentarily and he clenched his fists.  “Fury will hear about this.”  He said, anger seethed through him.

“I hope he does, son.  Please tell him.”  Steve said.  The agent stormed out.

Steve approached the girl.  She was hunched over on the bed.  He sat next to her and gently put his hand on her arm.  She turned her head and looked up at him blinking.

“Alexandra?” Steve said softly.  She stared up at him, her bright green eyes slightly out of focus.  “Do you know who I am?”

“Captain Rogers?” She asked, her voice was soft and raspy.  Like she hadn’t used it for a long time.

“That’s right.” He said softly.  “Would you like to come with me?  Leave this place?”

She nodded and reached her hands out to him.  He took her by the arm, and started helping her feet.  Her eyes began to glow, it was like seeing a purple lightening build around them, and her form shimmered.

“Don’t try and use your abilities now.  It will just drain you.”  Steve said trying to sooth her.  It worked, she powered down her form settling again.

He supported her as they left the room.  She could barely hold herself upright to walk. But he wanted to make sure it was her walking out of here.  If Natasha was right, and she was allowed to leave of her own free will, he wanted to make sure it was very clear that she had actually left of her own free will.

They made it to the lobby and Fury was waiting for them.

“Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff.  I see you’ve met our friend, Alex.  Were you planning on taking her out to lunch?”  Fury asked, he was as calm as he ever was.

“She has decided she wants to leave, Nick.”  Natasha said.  “She is free to leave isn’t she?  We don’t keep prisoners here.  Especially ones who haven’t ever done anything wrong.  Or am I wrong?”

“She’s free to leave.  Is that what you want Alex?  You want to leave?”

Alex stumbled back from him, and whimpered.  Steve pulled her to him protectively.

“She’s dangerous, Rogers.  If you want to be responsible for her when she leaves this building, then so be it.  But if she hurts anyone, that will be on you.  And you won’t be able to protect her if she does.  She _will_ be taken out.”  

“I just witnessed the agent you had responsible for her care hit her.  She isn’t staying here, Nick.”  Steve said.  He had drawn himself up to his full height.

“That agent will be court marshaled.  We can find another.  I won’t stop you from taking her out of here.  You’ll still be welcome back.  You won’t be thrown out of SHIELD, but you will be making a mistake.”

“Phil wouldn’t think so.”  Natasha said.  “Come on Steve.”  She started marching towards the door.  Steve followed slowly, supporting Alex as she shuffled along beside him.  

They stepped out into the open air, Natasha was waiting.  “Now what?”  Steve asked her.  “Where do we take her?”

Natasha glanced around her, like somehow there would be an answer just ready and waiting for her.  “Your place?”

“My place?  My one bedroom apartment?”  Steve shook his head.  “There has to be somewhere better than that.”

Natasha looked at Alex, she was so fragile looking.  Deceptive really.  “Do you want to stay with me, Alex?”

Alex almost stumbled backward away from her, shaking her head and raising her arms over her face like she was expecting to be hit.

“I guess that’s not going to work.”  Natasha shrugged.  “I don’t know what else we can do.  Not until she’s back to herself.  I think it has to be with you.”

Steve sighed. “Fine, my place it is.  But I can’t take her on my bike.  Not in the state she’s in.”

Natasha led them to her car.  A black Audi.  It took a bit of convincing but they managed to get Alex into the back seat.  She fell asleep on the drive.  

Back at Steve’s apartment they sat Alex on his couch.  She stared ahead blankly. Panic started to take hold of Steve.  He took Natasha by the arms, and pushed her into his kitchen.  

“What am I going to to do with her?”  He said at a loud whisper.

“I think you’ll be okay.  Once the sedatives wear off, she should be functioning normally.  She might be scared because of all the new things that have happened to her, but she likes you.  You can see that right? And don’t forget, she’s not actually a child.  She just looks like one.  You don’t need to baby sit her.”

“Except I do, because she’s powerful enough to rip a person into thousands of pieces according to you.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to make sure she never feels like she has to do that.” Natasha said.

They walked back into the lounge.  Alex had fallen asleep again.  

“They were keeping her really heavily sedated, Steve.  Her abilities mean her body is always fighting against it.  So it shouldn’t be much longer before it’s worn off.  Call me if you need me.”  

“You’re leaving?” Steve asked, panicked.

“Yes.  You’ll be better off if I’m not here.  She doesn’t trust me.”  And with that she left.  

* * *

 

Alex stirred several hours later.  It was dark and the apartment was still.  She knew where she was and how she’d gotten here, but in a far off way, like it had been a dream.  She glanced around the room using her powers to look for life.  There was a plant, it was well on the way to being dead.  She got up, and walked over to it, putting a finger on one of it’s lifeless leaves she focused on renewing the cells. The cells began dividing and replacing each other at a rapid rate and the plant came to life under her touch.  She could feel the sparks around her eyes as she used her ability, a weird side effect of the expended energy she used.  It made her feel light headed.  How long since she’d last eaten anyway?

She walked down the hall, and opened the door at the end of the hall.  It was a bedroom. She could see the shape of the man sleeping in the bed.  Captain America.  Steve Rogers.  She knew it was him because of the way his cells glittered as they went through mitosis at an accelerated rate, and how they were just different to a normal person.  Altered.  Like hers.  

He had taken her away from SHIELD.  It hadn’t been a dream at all.  She was still not sure what had happened there.  Phil had left her, something to do with saving the world.  She had wanted to go and help.  She knew she could do it.  But he had said she wasn’t ready for that yet.  She didn’t have proper control over her abilities, they were too fuelled by emotion, and she was prone to making mistakes when she was under stress.  So she waited for him to come back.  He never did, and when Andy told her he had been killed a surge of energy had exploded from her.  She passed out and when she had woken everything had been foggy.  It had been foggy for weeks now.  She hadn’t seen Andy again. Maybe he was dead too.

She stepped back out of his room, and found a bathroom.  She studied herself in the mirror.  When had she made herself a child again?  She couldn’t even remember doing that?  Maybe her body just did it of it’s own accord. That kind of thing happened sometimes when she was threatened.  The people at AIM found it frustrating.  She’d grow a shell to stop them cutting her or spikes if they went to hit her.  She never meant to, she didn’t even have a conscious control of her body at that point, it just defended her.  But making herself a child was new.  She scrunched up her face and concentrated on returning her body to the one she liked best.  It took a lot of energy, but when she was done, she looked in her early twenties.  Technically a little older than she actually was.  Her hair was long and straight black, her body thin but muscular, like a gymnast.  Her green eyes sparkled.  Her mother had once drawn a picture of her real father.  Not the man who had experimented on her and tortured her.  The actual man who she shared her genes with.  She always made herself look like a female version of that picture.  That man may have left, but he didn’t cut her open on a table and wait for her to put herself back together again.  She wasn’t sure how she would have looked if she didn’t have her powers.  There is a vague memory of a small mousy child, but so much had happened, that life felt more like a dream than something she’d actually experienced.  

Changing had made her feel weak.  She also hadn’t thought it through very well, because, while the clothes she had had on before the change had been very large on her tiny child’s frame, they were now way, way too small.  And she had no way to do anything about changing them.  They were not alive things she could alter or make grow.

She turned to leave the bathroom.  Captain Rogers was standing in the doorway.  She was startled and in her weakened state she stumbled backwards with a yelp.

“Alex?  Do you remember me?”  Steve asked, he sounded kind, but afraid.  He was afraid of her.  Everyone was always afraid of her.

“Yes.”  Her voice was raspy.  “You’re Captain Rogers.  You helped me, like I helped you.”

He held his hand out to her.  She took it hesitantly.  “That’s right.”  He said. “Are you alright?”

His body was like fire to her.  Everything about him burned brightly and intensely. She had trouble seeing what he looked like to normal people because of the intensity of the things happening within him at a cellular level.  It was like watching fireworks.

“I changed.” She whispered.

“I can see that.”

“My clothes don’t fit any more.”

He laughed.  It wasn’t mean or malicious.  He wasn’t laughing at her.  He was laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation.  “Come with me.”

She followed him into his room, he pulled a t-shirt from his drawer.  “That will be really big on you.”  He said.  “I don’t know what else I can give you to wear though.  I have a neighbor, she’s a nurse so she may well be up.  Let me just go and see if she is.”

He left the room and it was like the lights had been turned off.  She had been seeing things off the light his own body produced.  She pulled off her clothes.  It was actually quite difficult, they were so small on her, she had to tear them in some places to get them to shift.  She was standing naked facing the wall, about to pull the shirt on, when Steve reappeared behind her.

“Oh, oh no!  I’m sorry!” He yelped.

She pulled on the shirt.   It was very big on her.  It hung loose and reached her mid thigh.  She turned to face him.  He had his arm covering his eyes. “It’s okay.  I’ve decent.  Ish.”  She smiled.

Steve uncovered his eyes.  He was having trouble reconciling the small child he’d bought into the apartment earlier today with this beautiful woman who was here now, wearing his shirt.  “Sorry, it’s all dark in there.  I don’t want to wake her.  Will you be okay in just that for now?  I’ll send a text message to Natasha.  Have her bring some clothes by in the morning.”  

Alex sat down on the end of the bed and watched him.  He was slow at typing the message, still getting used to the technology.  Alex started to feel a little feint.  Her vision started to swim a little and she swayed on the bed.  

Steve looked up at her alarmed.  “Alex?”

“I used too much energy.  I need to replace it.”  She said groggily.

“How?  How do you replace it?”  Steve asked.  He was beginning to panic again.  He didn’t know how to look after another person with abilities.  What was it she needed from him.

“Food.  I need to eat.”  Alex said.

Steve laughed. “Oh, I can do that.”  He said, and got up.  “I have food.”  

Alex followed him down the hall and sat at his kitchen table as he pulled out left overs from the fridge.  “I have left over fried chicken.  Man, was I happy when I discovered this.  And there’s this casserole thing I tried to make.  It’s not very good.”  He placed them both on the table.  Alex took some chicken and started eating it hungrily. Barely chewing she just tore flesh from the bones and swallowed it. Steve poured her a glass of milk and she picked it up as soon as it hit the table and drained the glass in one go.  Steve watched her eat completely bemused.

She only started slowing her eating after she had finished all the chicken.  She still moved onto the casserole but she took her time with it.  

“Feeling better?” Steve asked.

“Yes, thank you. I burn energy fast.  Especially when I used my abilities.   You do too, I can see it happening.”  She said.  

“You can see it happening?”  Steve asked, his brown furrowed.  Alex’s abilities scared him.  Not because of what she might be capable of, but because of how completely they seemed to define everything about her.  

Alex ignored his question.  “Thank you for getting me out of SHIELD.  I – was happy there once.  I don’t know what happened.  What did I do?  Is Andy dead?  Did I kill him?”  Her emotions were getting the better of her.  Tears began to leak from her eyes, and so did small purple sparks as her powers engaged.  Trying to break out and protect her, they just weren’t sure what the risk was yet.

Steve touched her arm.  “Shh … relax.  You’re safe here.”

Alex took a deep breath, forcing herself to power down. “Sorry … sorry.”  She babbled.  “Phil was teaching me how to get in control of that.” Mentioning Phil’s name felt like poking at an open wound.  

“He was a good man.  The world is worse for him not being in it.”  Steve said.  

“I could have saved him if I was there.  Why didn’t they let me come?  I could have helped.  My abilities …”  She felt her powers prickle again, she stopped herself from talking and took several deep shuddering breaths.  Steve stroked his hand up and down her forearm as she did.

“I can’t tell you why they didn’t bring you.   I am not privy to that kind of information I’m afraid.  I think finding out you even existed was a level of top secret I wasn’t supposed to know about.  I also don’t know anything about your other friend, Andy did you say his name was? Natasha said he was hurt though.  That’s all I can tell you.”

Alex put her fork down.  “I think I need to sleep again.”

“Sure.”  Steve said.  “You can take my bed if you like.”  

Alex shook her head.  “It’s fine.  The couch is fine.  I – I’m smaller than you. You wouldn’t be comfortable.”

* * *

Natasha showed up the next morning with clothes.  Alex was nervous around her, but she remained calm.  Steve had explained it was Natasha’s idea to get her out of SHIELD so she allowed herself to at least be open to trusting her.  

Over the next month or so Alex stayed with Steve.  He would leave her alone, he wasn’t scared to do that.  Alone was a slightly novel experience.  She hadn’t been left alone since her abilities manifested.  There was always someone watching her, even if they weren’t in the room.  The slight independence felt liberating.  Like maybe she was a person and not just a weapon or a threat.  But she stayed in his apartment.  She had no desire to go outside.  Outside was threatening.  Steve never suggested she should go out either.  On occasion she’d wonder what he’d do if she suggested it.  Would he try and stop her or did he trust her?  She was too afraid to find out.

The first time Alex crawled into bed with Steve he was startled.   He’d never had a woman in his bed before.  But when she curled up and fell asleep pressed into his back it felt good.  Almost natural.  It became habit after no time.  They’d just go to bed together.  If you were to ask Steve about it, he would tell you that they were never intimate.  But his definition was dated and generally poor.  They were very intimate. She would always sleep in one of his t-shirts and nothing else, and curl up in the crook of his arm and they’d talk in a way that was different than before climbing into bed.  They talked about their fears, and their hopes for the future.  The things they felt like they had lost.  In bed Steve was able to be fragile, and Alex felt strong.  Alex would trail her fingers along his jaw and down his neck, and he would run his through her hair.  When they would finally drift off to sleep, Steve always held Alex to him, his large arms wrapped around her small frame. But they never kissed, and they certainly never had sex.  

When Steve was away on a mission Alex couldn’t sleep.  She just sat up and waited, afraid that this would be the day he didn’t return.

Steve returned home from one such mission, and as usual Alex was waiting for him.  She pounced on him as he stepped through the door wrapping her arms around his neck, and pushing her face into his chest.  

“You came home.” She squealed, half excited, half relieved.

“I told you I would.”  Steve said.  He loved the fact she always greeted him so warmly.  He had missed having people who really cared for him in his life.

Steve collapsed on the couch.  He was exhausted, and Alex sat next to him, curling her legs up under her and studying him.  

“You’re hurt.” She said, and touched his cheek.  

“It’s nothing, you don’t …”  He started to say, taking her wrist.  But it was too late her eyes had started to spark, the energy transfer was happening.  And as she trailed her fingers over every cut and scrap, the flesh knitted together and he felt the pain ebb away.  “Thank you.”  He sighed as she powered down.  Her eyes returning to normal.

“Steve?”  Alex said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yes, Alex?”

“Do you ever wish you could go back.  To before, where your friends and family were. To before they changed you?”  She asked.  “I think about it for me, and I would.  If I could go back and run away from my step-father, I’d do it.  I hate being this freak.  Not just as in, that I have this ability that makes me a freak, but what they did to me.  They … ” She trailed off.

Steve hugged her to him.  The things they had done to her were unthinkable.  The fact she was able to function at all was amazing to him.  “I do think about it.  I ended up giving up everything when I agreed to take that serum.  It was for the best I guess.  But I do wonder how my life would have turned out if I’d never taken it.”

They sat quietly for a while.  It wasn’t uncomfortable, they just sat.  Thinking about the paths their lives had taken.  

“I could turn you back, if you wanted.”  Alex said.

Steve took her chin in his hand and tilted it up to look at him.  “What do you mean?”

Alex took his face in her hands, and climbed into his lap so she was straddling him. She did it without thinking, she needed to see him better.   “I can see where they changed you, deep in your cells.  Where your DNA was altered, and what it should be.”  She said.  It felt to Steve like she was staring into his eyes, and he was becoming lost in hers.  But that isn’t what was happening.  She was staring into his very being, the bits of him that made him him.  “I can turn it back, if you wanted.”

Steve licked his lips.  “That’s not what I want.”  He breathed.

“I don’t see you the way other people see you.”  Alex said.  She had begun to run her hands through his hair, and was completely unaware of his cock stiffening against her.

“How do you see me, Alex?”  Steve asked his hands running up her back.

Alex leaned in close to his face, her lips were almost touching his.  “You’re like looking into the big bang.  You’re the universe exploding, and spreading out, then collapsing in on itself.  You’re a forest fire burning so hot that when it reaches moisture it causes explosions vapour billowing into the sky.”

Steve swallowed. “Alex …”  He whispered.  

Her focus shifts, away from his atoms and back to his whole being.  She could see the blue of his eyes for the first time.  He looked at her with desire but also fear.  Fear of that what he was about to do would change everything.  His hand went to her cheek and his lips closed the distance between hers.  They kiss.  His first since he plunged the Hydra plane into the ice in 1944.  Her first ever.   They were hesitant, nervous to begin with.  Not sure what they were doing or what they needed to be doing.  But the kiss deepens.  Their lips caress, their tongues begin to explore each other mouths.  Tasting each other.  It changes again becoming desperate, and urgent.  Their mouths clashing together.  Their hands begin to travel over each others bodies.  Steve is gentle, shy at first.  Not wanting to overstep his bounds.  Alex is aggressive, she pulls his hair, and tear the buttons from his shirt.  Her aggressiveness wakes something in him.  He pulls her shirt off over her head, breaking their kiss for the first time.  She unhooks her bra and slides it down from her arms, letting it fall between them.  Steve stares at her semi naked form, his tongue darts over his bottom lip and he plunges onto one breast, taking the nipple into his mouth.  Alex leans back instinctively, arching her back, opening herself up, so he has free access to her.  A small moan escapes her lips.  She laces her fingers together in his hair and starts to rock her hips against his, his cock pressed into her.  

Steve grabs her legs and stands.  Alex wraps her self around him, holding tight to his upper body.  He carries her to the bedroom, and places her carefully on his bed.  She scoots backwards staring up at him.  

“Are you sure this is what you want?”  Steve asks.  He wants her to be sure.  To consent to this.  He needs it with every fiber in his being.  

Alex begins to unfasten her pants.  “I have never been sure about anything, Steve.”  She says.  

He frowns at her, unsure if he should stop, calm the situation down.  If she isn’t ready then this can’t continue.

“I’m sure about this though.”  She breathes.  

He climbs onto the bed, stalking towards her.  He takes the hem of her pants in his hands and yanks them down.  She squeals, as she is unintentionally dragged towards him.  They kiss again, him pressed on top of her, his bulge pressed into her naked mound through the rough fabric of his pants.

Steve is hesitant with every move he makes.  Over thinking every touch.  He pauses with his hand over her mound.  She shifts her hips toward him longing for his touch.  

“Why are you scared?”  She asks, her hands moving to his belt, beginning to unfasten it.

Steve shakes his head.  “I’ve never done this before.  I don’t want to hurt you.”

She smiles and kisses his neck.  The heat from his skin warms her lips.  His heart beat has picked up and she can see the blood cells coursing through his body.  “It’s new for me too, but I think it’s unlikely that you’ll hurt me.”

The confirmation that she is also a virgin gives him confidence.  He doesn’t need for her to be one.  Yes, he grew up in a world where that kind of thing was considered important, but he knows it doesn’t change anything.  Knowing they are sharing this first time together though, that his mistakes are less likely to be judged, it’s comforting.  It spurs him on.  

He slides a finger between her folds, and she hums.  He takes her nipple into his mouth again, sucking on the hard point, and as he does he runs his finger up and down her slit, slowly pressing into her flesh.  When his finger tip hits the small nub of her clitoris, she groans and bucks her hips into his hand.  He focuses his fingers on the nub.

A tingle is building in Alex.  It’s a feeling she doesn’t recognise, but it’s pleasant.  It’s starting in he crotch and spreading through her, pooling in the pit of her stomach, and prickling the skin on her head.  Every time his teeth scrape her nipple or his finger pushes or pinches her clit it intensifies.  She is torn between closing her eyes and giving into it and watching him.  She wrestles his pants down.  He is so caught up in what he’s doing, he seems unwilling to help, and all she manages to do is pull them down to his knees.  She takes his cock in her hand with no hesitation, and begins to pump her fist up and down his shaft.  It feels wrong, and without knowing exactly why she spits into her palm and tries again.  This time with the added lubrication her hand moves easily along his length.  His reaction is immediate and intense.  He thrusts forward with his hips, and groans.  Alex squirms.  The fact her touch did that to him makes her feel giddy.  She pushes against him.  It’s like pushing against a brick wall initially.  But he gets the message and rolls onto his back for her.  

Steve wants to keep touching her, getting her to make those sounds for him.  But she has other ideas, and he gives into her.  She crawls between his legs, pulling his trousers free and throwing them across the room.  She may have no experience but she knows what she wants, that much is clear. She takes his cock in her hand again, and begins to to work her hand up and down the shaft.  He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her hands on him.  Her mouth joins her hands, taking the head between her lips and swirling her tongue around.  His eyes snap open.  She’s looking up at him, his dick in her mouth.  The sensation is almost unbearable.  He groans and thrusts against her.  She never breaks eye contact with him as her tongue works up and down his shaft.  He wonders what she is seeing.  Can she see him as others would?  His body tense.  The lust in his eyes.  Or is she seeing this happening on a cellular level, the blood gushing to his cock, making it hard, making it twitch against every touch she gives it, bringing him to the point of orgasm.  His synapses flaring in the pleasure centre of his brain.  Adrenalin being released into his blood stream, flowing through his body.  

Alex releases his cock from her mouth and climbs on top of him, his hands stray up her body, massaging her flesh.  She takes his length in her hand and guides it towards her cunt.  There is an uncomfortable pinch as she pushes the tip against her opening.

Steve watches her face as she tries to push him inside her.  Her eyes flare, sparks jumping from the corners.  She isn’t ready yet, and this is hurting her.  Her defenses have kicked in.  He sits up and rolls her over. It’s a risky move.  Any perceived threat could mean an subconscious reaction by her body to protect itself.  He could be seriously hurt.

“Shhh …”  He soothes.  Kissing her lips, and trailing his fingers down her side. “You’re safe.  We can take our time.”

He trails his kisses down her body.  Exploring her, drinking her in.  She designed this body for herself, and it has an odd perfection, like she’s been airbrushed.  It’s actually slightly disconcerting, and he wonders what she would look like if she had no powers at all.  Does she even know?  He glances up at her face as he moves down her body.  Her eyes had returned to normal and he lets out a sigh of relief.  Moving to her cunt he breathes her in.  She smells like the ocean, with a trace of a unique musk.  It’s a heady scent, but pleasant.  He dips his tongue between her folds to taste her.

Alex squirms against Steve’s mouth as it explores her most intimate areas.  She wills herself to relax and give herself to him.  Normally so fearful of being physically hurt by people that her body is just always on high alert to danger and pain.  Her need to let that go for him overwhelms her.  Steve inserts a finger in to her cunt as he nibbles on her clitoris.  She moans in response to his touches.

Steve is amazed by how responsive she is to him.  She squirms and moans and grinds her hips with every touch.  He laps up her juices, drinking them in, greedy for them.  Taking note of what her body responds to best, he increases the pressure and speed of his movements.  He wants to make her come before he moves on to intercourse.  He gently inserts a second finger into her opening.

Alex whimpers as his second finger enters her.   There is a stinging sensation, and it stretches her out.  But it doesn’t feel bad.  Combined with the attention her clit is being given by his mouth, it actually feels amazing.  He is slowly thrusting her fingers in and out of her wet cunt and she writhes against him.

“Curl your fingers, Steve.”  She moans.  

Steve raises his head and looks at her confused by her request.

“Your fingers. Curl them upwards, like this.”  She pants, and raising her hand, her index and middle finger are held out and she hooks them.

He follows her instruction, and his fingers press against her internal walls, and he drags them against her.  Her response is immediate and intense.  She bucks against him, her toes curl.

“Fuck!  Fuck … yes … Steve.”  She curses as she comes.  

Her words shock him, but they excite him too.  She’s never cursed in front of him before.  He did that to her.  

He crawls up her body, positioning himself between her legs.  He wipes his mouth and kisses her as he pushes his cock against her opening.  She hums into his mouth and grinds against him.

“Are you okay?” He asks, running his thumb along her jaw.

“Yes …”  She breathes “I want this.”  She nips at his thumb, and he smiles at her.

“You ready?”

“Please, Steve. I want you inside of me.”  She begs him, and he pushes against her, entering her.

She gasps at the intrusion her eyes flare, sparks flying, but it isn’t painful.  There is a pinching sensation sure but she is ready for him, and his cock stretches her making her feel pleasantly full.

Steve groans as he enters her, his eyes close involuntarily.  Her body welcomes him in to her warm, moist chamber.  Her walls clenching tight on his member. She feels incredible, better than he could have imagined, better than any time he had taken care of his own needs.  Alex snakes her hand down between them rubbing her clit in time with Steve’s thrusting.  

They are as one, each thrust, each caress, each clench of their bodies bring each other closer and closer to climax.  They moan and pant, kiss, groan, clutch at each other.  And when they do come it is together.  Their bodies spasm against each other.   His seed spilling into her.  They didn’t consider protection, there is no need.  They are unable to get sick, and she controls cells.  Nothing will happen between them that is not completely intentional.

Steve collapses beside her.  He is spent.  They both are.  She crawls into the crook of his arm.  Neither have felt more happy nor connected to another person in so long.  Sleep finds them quickly.

* * *

Steve wakes first the following morning.  He feels light and excited about the future. Something he hasn’t felt since plunging that plane into the ice.  He slides his arm out from under Alex and goes to take a shower.  He wants to see Peggy.  Tell her about what’s happened.  Get her blessing for him to move on.  

After his shower he sits on the bed dressing.  Alex stirs and looks up at him blearily.

“Steve?”  She says rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning, Sweetheart.”  He tests out the pet name.  He wants to call her something special that’s just for the two of them.  “You sleep. I’m just going to go see Peggy.”

He gets up, and kisses her on the temple and leaves.  He passes Kate in the hall and they exchange brief pleasantries before he leaves for the hospice.  

Peggy is lucid and alert when he enters the room.  

“Steve!”  She greets him, raising her arms for a hug that he willingly and gratefully gives.  

“How’s my best girl?”  He asks sitting in the chair beside her.  

“Better for seeing you.  And how are you, Steve?  You look happy.”  She says, taking his hand in hers.

“I am happy, Peggy.  I’ve met someone.   I think we might be able to make a life together.”  He beams.  He thought he’d be nervous to tell Peggy. She was his first love.  Well, her and Bucky, but those feelings had always confused him.  His excitement is too much though, and he just wants her to know, and to be happy for him too.

“I am so pleased to hear it, Steve.”  She says squeezing his hand.  “Nothing would make me happier than you getting the life that had been stolen from you.  Tell me about her.”

* * *

After Steve left the apartment, Alex got out of bed.  He left her to go see his ex.  They had sex, and the first thing he does when he gets up the next day is go see his ex girlfriend.  She wasn’t ever going to live up to her.  It was time to leave.

She goes into the bathroom, her eyes are sparking.  Her form shifts, gaining height and muscle, her hair appears to shrink.  That isn’t really what’s happening, the cells from the unwanted hair are just separating and collapsing away, the energy that held them together returning into the universe to make something else.  Her hair color changes too becoming blond.  When she is happy with what she sees she powers down.  Her eyes are blue now.

She has styled herself after her first love.  Tall, muscular, blue eyes, blond hair in a pixie cut.  She is a female Steve.  This will keep him with her always.

She packs her clothes into a duffle bag she finds in Steve’s closet.  She needs to leave, but the only way to do that is to steal from him. Staring at the bed she contemplates what to do.  This is a bad idea, but what choice does she have?  She lifts the mattress, and takes some of the money Steve has kept tucked under there.  Not a lot of it.  Just enough to get her out of town.  She’ll hitch hike if need be.  

She steps out into the hall and shuts the door behind her.  The nurse who lives across the hall steps out into the hall and stares at her. Alex furrows her brow, and pushes past her.    
“Do I know you?” The nurse asks.  

“I don’t think so.”  Alex answers, pressing the elevator call button.

“Why were you in Captain Rogers’ apartment?”  Her tone is accusatory and she is standing like she is ready to start a fight.

“I don’t see what business that is of yours.”  Alex snaps.  The elevator arrives and she steps inside.  

At the door for the building she passes Steve.  He is whistling and he holds the door open for her as she steps out, nodding to her.  She stands in the street, watching him through the glass door, tears welling in her eyes.  He turns and looks at her, and she wipes her face and strides away.  

She will go and find AIM.  And when she finds them she will get them to tell her where her step-dad is.  She will then torture him the way he tortured her.  But she wont let him die until he tells her where her mother is.  When she finds her mother she’ll get her to tell her where her father is.  Her real father.  Then she might get closure. Then she can be good.  As good as Steve is.  Then she might be worthy.  Then he might love her.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil Coulson spends his time trying to track Alex done. When he finds her he isn't sure what to do with her.

Steve had been confused when he’d returned home to find his apartment empty.  Alex never left the room let alone the building.  He initially thought that maybe something had awoken in her after they’d made love.  She’d lost her fear of the world and had decided to venture out into it. But when she hadn’t returned after an hour he started to get scared. He looked around the apartment for signs of what might have happened. He’d discovered her clothes gone.  She’d left him?  After what happened last night, she’d left?  Confusion turned into heart break. He’d lost another love.  They never stayed.  He would be alone forever.

He’d gone straight to SHIELD and spoken to Fury.  Hoping Alex had returned to the agency for some reason.  She hadn’t, and he was now in trouble for losing her.  So he stopped talking about her.  When Natasha questioned her about what happened, he just said ‘I guess she wasn’t happy and she ran away.’  That’s when Natasha had started trying to set him up with just about every woman she’d ever met.  Steve stopped looking for Alex and he shrugged off all of Natasha’s attempts to get him to start dating.  It wasn’t meant to be.  He was meant to be alone.  He was a soldier and that was all he’d ever be.

SHIELD never stopping searching for her though.  Coulson took it on as a special mission.  He’d been worried about her since he’d died.  It filled his mind when he was alone.  And so, despite having so much on his plate already, he looked.

The first time he thought he’d found a trace of her, was when an abandoned AIM facility was burned to the ground.  May thought it had been a reach.  Anyone could have burned it down.  But there had been a set of potted trees lining the driveway leading in to the building, and each one was perfectly healthy.  Alex could never resist healing a plant.  She did it almost subconsciously.

The second time there was no doubt in his mind.  This was the work of Alexandra Swann.  There had been an attack.  They’d come out to investigate, thinking it had to do with the inhumans.  When Coulson had seen the body he’d known, right away, that was the work of Alex.  The body was missing parts, but there were no scars, they just looked like they’d never grown in properly.  An autopsy revealed that his heart tissue had been replaced by plant tissue.  Alex had tortured this person.  Coulson felt sick.  These were her powers, he had no doubt.  But this was not the girl he had known.  Why was she doing this?  

The answer became clear when they’d discovered the victim was an ex-AIM scientist.  She was out for revenge.

Coulson put all his effort in to finding her father before she did.

He was unsuccessful.

Coulson and May were standing in the man’s bedroom assessing the damage.  He was breathing through his mouth willing himself not to throw up.  Alex had not used her powers on her step-father.  At least not to cause this damage.  She had tied him down and carved him up.  This was pure sadistic revenge.  She did to this man what he had done to her.

“You know you’re going to have to take this girl out, don’t you?”  May said.  She was the only one in the group he had trusted with any of this.  She was the only one who knew he was looking for Alex.

“I hope not.” Coulson sighed.  

“Phil.  Look around you.  She’s dangerous and unstable.”

Coulson shook his head.  “She’s alone.”

“I’ve been alone plenty of times.  I have never tied a person to a bed and carved them into pieces.  What are we going to do with this by the way?  We aren’t authorized to clean this up.”  May was annoyed.  Phil was letting his feelings clouding his judgement as he always did.

“You have not been through what she has.  I can get through to her.”  He turned and walked out of the room.  “We’ll need to just call the local authorities on this.  She won’t have left a trace, so they won’t know what they’re looking for.”  They stepped outside, locking the door behind them  “We’ll need to go to her mother now.”

“You know where she is?”  May asked following behind.

“Hannover, Germany.”

* * *

 

Alex walked down the main plaza in the Hannover city centre.  It was Sunday and it had been snowing.  The plaza was all but empty.  There was an old man sitting under the eaves of one of the shops.  He had a sign reading 'haben Hunger’.  He was also riddled with cancer.  Alex approached him.  She knelt down in front of him holding out a 2 euro coin.  He reached out to take it, and her powers engaged, sparks spilled from her eyes.  He looked scared, and recoiled his hand from her, but she took hold of it, and as his cancers healed he began to breath easier, pain lifted and he smiled.  

“Vielen Dank, Engel.”  He said with such relief and awe it filled her heart.  Maybe she could wash this blood she had on her hands clean after all.

“Bitte schoen. Wo ist Burgstrasse?”

The old man pointed towards where the steeple of the Marktkirche stood looming above the rest of the city.  Alex thanked him and strode off towards it.  

It wasn’t long until she found the building she was looking for.  There was a security door, but it was broken, so she just stepped inside and climbed the stairs.  She stood outside the apartment door taking deep breaths.  This was it.  Her mother lived here.  She didn’t know what she was going to do yet.  She was angry at her for letting her step-father do the things he did to her.  For letting him take her away from her only family, for letting him torture her.  

But her revenge on her father had not felt good.  She had expected it to lift a weight from her, but instead it had made her feel even more broken than before.  Now she didn’t know what she wanted.  She just wanted all this to be over.  

She knocked on the door.  

There was a shuffling inside and the door opened.  

“Hello, can I help you?”  The man said, opening the door.

Alex stumbled backwards.  “Ph-Phil?”  She said.  Tears pricked her eyes.  It was Phil.  He’d been changed.  His DNA was different, but it _was_ him.  Phil was dead though.  That’s what they’d said.  He was dead.

“Alex? Is that you?”  Phil asked taking a step towards her.  

She fell into him.  Clinging to him.  She started crying.  It was an ugly cry, that took over her whole body.  She cried for everything that had happened since she’d been told he’d died.  For hurting Andy.  For the few weeks she was kept in a state of foggy sedation.  For leaving Steve. For all the people she’d killed since she left him.  It all burst out of her in loud, body shaking sobs as she clung to her friend, the only person she’d ever really seen as family since her father locked her up in AIM. “You were dead, Phil.” She sobbed.

“I know.  But I’m not any more.”  Phil said stroking her hair.  He took her inside and they sat on the couch.   He held her as she cried against him.  When she started to gain control of her self he spoke. “What have you been doing, Alex?”

“I – I needed to fix myself.”  She sobbed, her breath hitching.

“By killing people, Alex?”  Coulson asked her, pushing her away from him and holding her at arms length.

“They broke me.  I wasn’t good enough for him.  If – if I broke them, then I could be fixed.”

Coulson felt ill.  She was not well.  It was a relief that she’d recognized him.  He hadn’t recognized her, not in the tall, blond form she was wearing.  He should have been more on guard. But this talk about killing people to fix herself.  She was a risk to everyone.  “That’s not how you fix yourself.  What have we always talked about?”

“ _You were dead!”_ She shrieked. “ _And the only other person who saw me – he – he …”_

“Who are you talking about, Alex?”

“Steve – I wasn’t good enough for him?”  She said, and broke down in tears again.

“Steve?” Coulson said.  He had no idea who she was talking about.  The only Steve he knew was Captain America.  “Captain Rogers?”

She nodded, taking these deep shuddering breaths that wracked her body.  

“Alex, you’re going to have to come with me now.  Then you’re going to need to tell me everything.”

* * *

Phil had locked Alex in a glass cell on the Quinjet.  It was small and uncomfortable.  She’d let him do it though.  She didn’t want to fight him.  She sat on a steel bench gazing out at her friend fighting with a woman she didn’t know, gesticulating wildly in her direction.  

Eventually the woman stormed off and Phil came into the cell with her.  

“I’m not going to let you lock me up on the Raft, you know?” She said as Phil sat down next to her.

“Where did you hear about the Raft?”

“Does it matter?  It wont happen.  You know that right?  You know how powerful I am, and I am _never_ letting anyone lock me up again.”  It wasn’t a threat.  These were facts.

“Alex, the way you’re talking.   It’s scaring me.  You need to stop whatever this is you’re doing.”  Phil said.  He was angry with her.  He’d had such high hopes for who she’d become and she’d let him down.

She sighed and looked away from him.  “Where’s my mother?”

“She’s safe.  Why are you doing this, Alex?  Why have you become a murderer?”

“I want to see her.”  She yelled, slamming her fist on the bench.  Her powers engaged.  

“That wont happen, Alex.  You’ve been killing people.  You need to talk to me.”  Phil snapped.  “Now, power down.”

So she talked.  She told him about what happened with Steve.  How he’d left her after they’d had sex, gone to see his ex.  And she’d needed to leave before she got hurt.  So she’d gone to find out who she was. Fix herself.  Make her good enough for Steve.

“Alex, all this to find your father?  And did you really think Steve Rogers, Captain America, would be fine with you murdering people?  Torturing them?”  Phil said.  

“I wasn’t going to tell him.  I just needed to fix myself.”  

Coulson shook his head.  “I need to think about things.  I don’t know what to do with you.  And you need to think too.  What do you actually want, Alex?”

* * *

Alex remained a secret on the ship for months.  Coulson needed to get through to her.  May was not happy, but she kept the secret.  Slowly he seemed to get through to her again.  She was showing real remorse for what she was doing.  But she was becoming restless, and she wouldn’t give up this idea that she needed to find her father.  He was going to have to let her go.  There wasn’t really any other choice.  She was right, she was too powerful, and she wouldn’t allow herself to remain locked up for much longer.

Phil entered her cell.  She was lying back reading a book on the steel bench that served as her bed.  

“We’re going to let you go, Alex.”  Phil said sadly, sitting by her feet.  She sat up and looked at him delight written on her features.  “I think I can trust you to not go back to doing what you were doing, can’t I?”

She nodded enthusiastic.  “Yes, yes of course.  That was – it was not who I want to be.”  

“But here’s the thing, I know who your father is.  I can send you to him if that’s what you want.  I think it’s a mistake, but if you want to go to him, I’ll send you.  If you do that though, you will never see Steve Rogers or me again.  That’s not a threat.  It’s just the way things will be.”

Alex went to say something, but he hushed her.

“Or I can take you to Steve.  And you can apologize for running out on him and try and make things as right as you can.”  

“You know where he is?  Didn’t he disappear?”  She asked furrowing her brow.

“He thinks he did.  But yes, we know.”  

“Why can’t I see Steve if I meet my father?”  She asked.

Coulson shook his head.  “It’s just the way it is.  I’m not saying I won’t allow you to do both.  I’m saying if that’s the option you choose, it will be impossible to do the other.  So it’s either you give up this crazy idea you have that finding your biological father, the man who walked out on you, will somehow fix you and make you a good person, and go to Steve and actually just try and be a good person.  Or you go to your father, and hope he isn’t the man I know him to be, because you’ll be stuck with him either way.”

* * *

Steve is sitting drinking at the small table in the small house he’d settled in.  It was in the middle of the forest, which was in the middle of nowhere.  He had ways of contacting the others, as they could contact him.  But for now, for everyone’s safety they were separate.  That would probably change in the near future, and he did miss having people around, but the solitude after everything that had happened, with the accords, with Tony, with Bucky.  This alone time was nice.

There is a sound of engines.  They are distant, but it worries him.  He get up, and goes outside, scanning the skyline.  A Quinjet appeared in the distance, it comes towards him, and started lowering itself to the ground.  He sees someone zip-line out of the plane and the jet takes off again disappearing into the horizon.  

He leaps into action.  Charging into the woods in the direction of the person who had just invaded his home.  It wasn’t long until he finds her.  A tall blond woman, walking slowly and carefully through the trees.  He doesn’t recognize her at all, and his first move was to attack kicking her legs out from under her, and pinning her to the ground, fist raised over her head.  She doesn’t defend herself, she just falls to the ground staring up at him.

“Who are you?  Who sent you?”  He shouts at her.

“Steve?”  She breathes.

“I said _who are you?_ ”  

The woman blinks her eyes, and glances around panicked.  “Oh. Oh I forgot.”  She says. Her eyes spark and her body shimmers.  And he knows.

“Alex?”  He asks, hurt in his voice.  He lowers his fist.  And as she changes he remembers everything, every day she spent with him. How he grew to love her, need her.  And how she left after they’d made love, and his heart had broken.  

She was in the form he knew, the slight, raven haired woman, with the bright green eyes.  Like the fairy tale description of Snow White.  

“I’m sorry, Steve.”  She says as her form settles.  She reaches her hand up and touches his face, her fingers dance along the line of his strong jaw.  He grabs her hand and pushes it away from him.   He doesn’t let her up though, just remains lying on top of her, pinning her to the ground.  

“You’re sorry?”  He snaps.  “You’re sorry?   _Where did you go?  You just left me!_ ”

“I – I thought you didn’t want me.  I thought you were done with me.  After we – we …”  She trails off, and looks away from him.

Steve is furious, hurt and confused.  His emotions have been raw for months now, and _this_ on top of everything that’s happened. Peggy, Bucky, Tony, everything.  It’s too much.  He kisses her, but it’s angry, filled with hate and hurt.  Alex reaches her hands up to touch his face again, but he grabs her wrists and pins them above her head.  She doesn’t fight him, just lets him do what he needs to, keeping her powers under control.  Slowly, the anger ebbs out of him and the kisses lose their fury.  They become soft, and tender and he lets her hands go.  She wraps her arms around his neck and he breaks the kiss, burying his face in her neck and he starts to cry.  He cries for everything he has lost.  His body collapses on hers and she holds him, one hand curled into his hair, the other gripping his upper arm.  

“I’ve lost so much, Alex.  How could you do that to me?”  He sobs, his body shaking.

“I’m sorry.  I was stupid and confused.  I thought my leaving was what you wanted.”  

“I loved you, Alex.”  Steve says, he finally pushes himself off her and get ups.  

She follows, wrapping her arms around him from behind, leaning against him.  “Loved?  Not any more?”

Steve shakes his head.  “You’ve been gone for years.  What do you expect from me?  I’ve been through hell since I last saw you.”

She reaches up and strokes his hair again.  “I know.”

Steve turns on her.  “How could you possibly know?  You should have been there _with me_!”  His fury has returned.  

Alex looks down at her feet.  “I know.”  She breathes.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.  I’m sorry about your friends.  I should have been there to help.  If I could go back in time and change everything I would.  I was stupid.  I didn’t understand what was happening.  I do now.  And I just want a chance to show you that.  To be a better person than I have been.”

Steve looks at her.  Really looks at her.  For the first time he sees the hurt she’s feeling.  Whatever she’s been through in the past few years, she’s been hurt too.  And suddenly it’s all forgotten, he wants a do over, to start again with her fresh.  To at least try for the happiness that keeps eluding him.  He takes her in his arms, and they kiss.  They are reborn.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve no longer trusts Alex, and Alex continues to hold back the truth from him. When she finally comes clean they think of a way she can start using her powers for good.

Alex sat in the sun outside the small, wood cabin she and Steve had made their home for the past two months.  Steve had gone for a run as was his usual ritual.  He always invited her, but she hated running and she couldn’t keep up with him anyway, so she didn’t bother.  

They had been been hurt.  Mostly by other people.  The events surrounding the Sokovia Accords had destroyed Steve.  He was not the same person she had known when they’d met all those years ago when he’d rescued her from SHIELD.  Back then he had thought he’d lost everything.  He had since learned he had no idea back then what losing everything actually felt like.  He had now lost his friends, his freedom, the people he loved, his connection to the past, his home.  All he had now was Alex, and he still didn’t trust Alex.  Not since she’d run off on him breaking his heart.

Alex had lost a lot of things too.  She had lost her childhood.  Her chance of normalcy. Her step father had used her as a scientific guinea pig and made her a weapon.  He had then tortured her and made her a monster.  When she left Steve, she had gone to wreak vengeance on all those who had done her wrong and only come out more damaged than before.  She had so much blood on her hands there was no way she could ever get clean. She had returned to Steve to make things right.  She loved him.  He loved her too, but the trust, that might never return.

So she practised using her abilities.  She would create life, restore it, fix others who were broken.  She held a flower in her hand and watched a butterfly land on a nearby blade of grass.  She studied it, looking at the differences in its cells, what made it a butterfly and not a bee, or the blade of grass it sat on.  She looked down at the flower and compared them, and her powers engaged.  She cupped the flower in her hands and focused on changing it, rearranging it’s DNA.   Sparks flew from her eyes as she burned energy rewriting the genetic structure of the plant that was already dying in her hand.  When she stopped she opened her hands, and a butterfly identical to the one she’d just been studying flapped it’s wings and flew off.

She collapsed back into the grass staring into the sky.  She felt a little dizzy. Changing a plant into something with a complex nervous system required a lot of energy.  She closed her eyes, just considering taking a nap in the morning sun, when she heard the sound of tires on the gravel out the front.

Alex got to her feet, her powers engaged, ready for a fight, and ran to the front of the house.  There was a black car out the front.  A Tesla, which explains why she hadn’t heard it before.  A man started getting out of the car.  

“Get back in that car!”  Alex screamed.  Her skin was crackling with static electricity.  Her powers wanted to unleash themselves on this man who had invaded her home.

“Who are you? Where’s Cap?”  The man asked.  He looked defensive, but hadn’t taken on any kind of fighting stance.

“If you think for one second, I will let you get to him …”

The man laughed. It was a loud pleasant bark of a laugh.  “Chill woman, I’m a friend.  Get Steve.”

There was a cry from across the field.  “Alex!”  Steve yelled.  “Power down!”

Alex glanced around in a panic.  “Tell me who you are.  I won’t let you take him.” She growled.

“I’m not here to take anyone, sparky.  Listen to Steve.”

Steve had finally reached them.  He reached a hand out towards Alex like he was trying to soothe a frightened animal.  “Alexandra, power down.  He’s a friend.  You’re safe.   _I’m_ safe.”

“Steve?” She said the fear obvious in her voice.  

“Alex. You’re safe.  This is Sam.  You’re safe.  Power down.”  Steve reassured her.  

“This is Sam?”

“That’s right.  Now power down.”

She took a deep breath and shut her powers down.  She felt light headed and staggered forward.  Steve caught her, holding her against him, soothing her.

“Cap.” Sam said, nodding to his friend.

“Hi, Sam.”  Steve said smiling and shaking his head.  “Come inside.”

Steve helped Alex into the house and sat her at the kitchen table.  He went to the pantry and pulled out some protein bars, piling them in front of Alex.  She tore one open and shoved it in her mouth.  He turned to Sam and embraced him.  They thudded each other on the back.

“It’s good to see you.  What are you doing here though?  Has there been trouble?”  Steve asked.

“No more than usual.  Just thought I’d stop in.  See how you were doing.” Sam shrugged trying to play it off as nonchalant.  He’d been worried about his friend being trapped out her alone.  He hadn’t counted on the lightening chick though.  “What’s with the bottomless pit here?”  Alex was already on her forth energy bar.  

“Sam, this is Alex.”  Steve said.  He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer and handed it to Sam, he then poured a glass of milk for Alex. She took it and started drinking as soon as it was within reach. “She’s … well we …”

Sam started laughing, and sat down on the chair opposite Alex. “Oh I see.  What about you and …”  He made a strange hand gesture that didn’t really mean anything except that Steve knew exactly what he meant.  Steve shook his head, and Sam dropped it.

“And the eye shit?”  Sam asked wiggling his fingers next to his eyes.

“I’m enhanced.”  Alex answered through a mouth full of food.  She was getting sick of them talking about her like she wasn’t there.

“Like witchy?”  Sam asked.

“Sort of.  They’d give each other a run for their money.”  Steve said putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder.  “She alters DNA.  I’m glad I made it to you when I did.  You don’t back down easy, do you?”

Alex shook her head.   She felt embarrassed.  She didn’t want to be the violent person she was, but the first sense of threat and she’d gone into destruction mode.  She could have killed Steve’s friend.  She got up.  “I’m going to go lie down.  I made a butterfly before he got here.  I’m a bit tired now.”

Alex left the room, and went and lay in her bed, listening.

“She _made_ a butterfly.” Sam said shaking his head after she left the room.

Steve sat down in the chair that Alex was so recently occupying.  “Yeah. She’s pretty powerful.  If she has organic matter available to her she could potentially do anything with it.  Takes a lot of energy though.  Thus …”  He indicated to the pile of energy bar wrappers.

“Now tell me really, Cap.  What’s the deal with you two.  What about Sharon?”

Steve shook his head.  “Sharon was a mistake.  She’s Peggy’s niece, Sam. What was I thinking?  I’m always just trying to make these grabs at happiness with anyone who shows me the slightest piece of affection. Anyway, Alex happened before … ugh, it’s complicated.”  He dragged his hand down his face.

“Oh an old flame then?  How did she find you?”  Sam laughed.

“SHIELD dropped her off.  Which is concerning for a few reasons.  The first being, SHIELD shouldn’t even exist right now.”  Steve answered his mood darkening.

“You trust her?  Maybe she’s a spy?”

Steve shook his head.  “She’s not a spy.  As to trusting her …”

Alex started to cry.  The tears silently running down her cheeks.  Things hadn’t been the same since she came back.  How could they be?  She had abandoned him, and he still didn’t know why, or what she’d done.

She listened to them talk but the conversation turned to things about the friends they shared who were still on the run, and something about Thor and Bruce Banner’s whereabouts.  She wanted to leave the room, and go outside again, but then they’d know she was listening in and not resting like she’d said.

She closed her eyes, and the next thing she was aware of is the bed shifting as Steve climbed in next to her.  

“Alex, you’ve been asleep all day.”  He whispered rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

She rubbed her eyes and rolled over to face him.  “I’m sorry.”  She breathed.

“It’s okay, I was just worried that you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.” He kissed her on the temple.  

“That’s not what I’m sorry about.”

“What is it?”  Steve asked, panicked.  What had she done now?  Or was it something she was planning on doing?

“Where’s your friend?”  

“He’s sleeping in the spare room.  Don’t deflect.”  Steve had adopted his leadership voice.  He hated using it on her.  

She pressed her face into his chest.  “When I left, I thought you didn’t love me.  I thought you had just used me.  I wanted to go away and make myself someone you would love.  Instead I’ve made it so you don’t trust me.”  She swallowed.  “And you shouldn’t.  I killed people Steve.  I would have killed your friend.”

“Alex.” Steve shook his head.  He wasn’t sure what he should say.  “You’ve been hurt.  Badly.  By a lot of people.  I should have been aware of that on that day.  You’re always on high alert for people to continue to hurt you.  I’m sure whatever you did while you were on your own …”

Alex silenced him with a kiss.  All she wanted to right now was make love with him.  He wouldn’t want to after she came clean, she was sure of it.  He might not hate her, or ask her to leave, but they wouldn’t be together any more.  

The kiss was urgent and he yielded to her, letting her take control.  Her lips crashed against his, her tongue invaded his mouth.  She tugged at his shirt and he helped her remove it, and she straddled him, trailing kisses down his smooth, muscular chest.  

He moved his hands up under her shirt and just as he reached the clasp of her bra she burst into tears.  She couldn’t do this to him.  He needed to know who she had been.  Who she still was despite how hard she was trying not to be.

He sat up and held her, stroking her hair.  “What is it, Alex?  You need to talk to me.”

“I’m not good enough for you.  I’m not.  I’ll take you down with me.” She sobbed, her hand balling into fist against his chest.

“I think I can decide that for myself, Alex.”  

“I didn’t kill people in self defence, Steve.  I murdered them.  I murdered some random guy for information, and then I murdered my step dad.  It wasn’t quick either.  I _tortured_ them.  I made them feel _everything_ they put me through.   _Everything._ I need to be locked up.  I can _never_ make up for this.  I’d have let Phil take me to the raft, but I’m afraid someone will try an use me again. I’d kill myself but I can’t die.  How do I fix this, Steve? I don’t know how to fix this.”

Steve held her.  He knew she was damaged, but he hadn’t expected this. Phil was dead, and she was talking about him like he was alive. She’d tortured people.  “You’re right, Alex.  You will never be able to fix it.  Those deaths, what you did to those people, it will be on you forever.”  He sighed and pushed her away from him. “You’re right though.  Being locked up is not the answer for you. It’s too dangerous, and it will only make things worse.  It won’t fix you.  I need to think.”

Alex went to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

“I love you, Steve.”  She sobbed, her tears causing her whole body to shake.

“I love you too, Alex.   I don’t want to lose you.  I don’t think I can take losing anyone, but I need some space.  I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”  

Alex grabbed his arm as he went to stand.  “I’ll sleep on the couch. You won’t be comfortable.  This is my fault.”

Steve nodded.  As she went to leave he took her hand and squeezed it. “Please don’t run.  Not again.”  

Alex went out to the lounge, and fell onto the couch.  She fell asleep crying.  

* * *

Steve woke up the following morning to find the house empty.  His first thought was to panic.  She’d done it again.  He ran out on the porch and saw her in the field with Sam.  They were doubled over laughing.  Sam was wearing his flight suit and there were feathers everywhere.

He approached them both smiling.  This was the most normal and at ease he had felt for months now.

“What’s going on here?”  He asked.

“Damn, Steve you should have seen it!”  Sam laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.  “I got up this morning and your girl was sitting there all morose, so I asked her if she wanted to see red wing.”

“I was more interested in the wings.  I’d heard about the wings. I wanted to see them.”  Alex squeaked.  He couldn’t remember a time she ever looked so happy.

“So I got out the suit and start showing off.”

“I watched him and started thinking maybe I could make my own wings and fly.  Like I think I should be able to do it.”

“I look down at her and she’s sparking, you know the way she does. So I land to see what’s up, and these feather’s just explode out of her.”

“I guess I need to really look at what real wings are like better because all I made was a ton of feathers.  They went _everywhere_.”

Steve looked at her and felt real warmth.  A potential for actual happiness.  He laughed and hugged her.  “You made them out of nothing?”  

She was still giggling. “No.  No.  I made them out of me.  They’re my feathers.”  She picked one off her shirt and blew it into his face.  “I probably should go eat.  I feel a little light headed.”

“That’s because you’re all feather’s, woman.”  Sam laughed.  

Alex kissed Steve on the cheek and went inside.  

“She’s a weird kid, but I like her.”  Sam laughed.  “Did you two fight last night?”

Steve shook his head.  “No.  She finally came clean to me about some stuff.  It’s not pretty.”   Sam put his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  “You can talk to me you know.”

So Steve emptied out all the information onto his friend.  When he was done, Sam shook his head.  “Sounds to me like those dudes had it coming.”

“It doesn’t excuse it though.”  Steve sighed.

“You forgave Bucky.”

“Buck didn’t know what he was doing.”

Sam laughed.  “You think she was all there when she did those things?  At least she’s trying to make up for what she did instead of just hiding.”

That hurt.  Steve turned away from his friend.  

“Do you think she could help the green guy out?  Fix his anger management issues?”  Sam asked.

“Banner?  Hey, that’s not a bad idea.”

* * *

It took a little while to track down Banner.  Steve didn’t have the resources they used to have, and Banner didn’t want to be found.  It was actually Alex that was able to find him.  A call to SHIELD and within two days she had exact co-ordinates for him.  

They piled out of the car when they arrived at the abandoned warehouse he was supposed to be inhabiting.  Alex was terrified.  The whole trip had taxed her emotionally.  Steve knew it was hard on her, but he also knew she needed to do it.  She had to prove to herself she wasn’t a danger to the rest of the world.

Sam took her hand as they approached the building.  “You’re gonna be okay, Feathers.”  He said giving it a squeeze.  She looked at him and smiled.  

They entered the building.  Steve couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.  The Quinjet was in the hanger, but it had been altered.  It was beginning to look more like a space craft.

“Captain?”  

They turned to the voice.  Bruce Banner came walking out of an office to the left of them.  He was wiping his glasses on his grubby singlet.

“Doctor Banner.”  Steve said nodding to his old friend.  “It’s been a long time.”

“What are you doing here, Steve?  Come to arrest me?”  

Sam barked out a laugh.  

“I would have hoped you knew me better than that, Bruce.  Beside, all of us here are fugitives.  Haven’t you heard.”

Alex frowned, wanting to correct him, but deciding against it.  She may not be a fugitive, but she should be.

“I had heard there had been a little trouble.  So what is it then? Come to recruit me to your new cause?  I’m not interested.”

Steve shook his head.   “No.  We’ve come to help.”

* * *

Bruce sat surveying Alex.  She was standing at the window staring out through the filth that hand accumulated on it.  She kept drawing shapes in the dirt.  Love hearts, and snowflakes.  He wasn’t convinced.  

“Do you know how many dead ends I’ve chased trying to cure myself?”  He sighed.  “I can’t get my hopes up again.”  

“She is _very_ powerful, Bruce.  You can test her first. Draw some blood.  She can do this.”  Steve implored.

“Banner!”  A loud booming voice yelled, and Thor burst through the door.  Alex jumped out of her skin.  Her eyes sparked and she threw her hands out in front of her in a defensive stance.

“Steve!  My friend!  What brings you here?”  Thor exclaimed, approaching Steve his arms held out.  Steve stood and embraced him.  

“They think they can cure me.”  Bruce said and laughed.  It was a hollow laugh, with no joy in it at all.

“But this is good news!  How have you come across this cure?”  

Alex had relaxed her powers.  She had heard of Thor.  Seen him on the television.  She knew he wasn’t as risk to her.   “That would be me.”  

Thor looked at her, and approached her a scowl on his face.  “You look familiar child.  Who are your parents?”

Alex stumbled back from him.  He may not be a threat to her, but his size still made him intimidating.   “I don’t know.”  She stammered.  “My mom is – is just no one.  I don’t know my dad.  I look like my dad.”

Thor frowned and turned back to the others.  “Well, what are we waiting for?  If she has your cure, you should be using it.”

Bruce sighed and led them into his lab.  He drew some blood and poured it into a Petri dish.   It bubbled and grew in volume, it’s contents overflowing the dish.  Alex took Bruce’s face in her hand and stared into him, examining his cells, looking for the thing that had been changed in him that was doing this to him.  When she was sure she had the cause of the problem, and could see the solution she turned to the dish, and hovered her hand over it.  Her eyes sparked and the blood in the dish settled returning to it’s original volume.

“Is that it?”  Steve asked when her eyes had returned to normal.

“Yeah.  It was easy.”  She smiled.  Steve tucked a lock of her pitch black hair behind her ear.  She snuggled into his chest.

Bruce wasn’t convinced.  He thudded on the table beside the dish. The tray jumped, and blood spilled over the edge, but it remained the same volume as before.  Bruce took the dish and put it under a microscope.  Prodding it.  Trying to make it angry.  

“I don’t believe it.  You actually did it.”

* * *

There weren’t a lot of places to sleep in the old hanger.  Sam stayed behind and slept in the Quinjet, but Steve and Alex went and checked in to a dingy motel up the road.  Alex checked in under a fake name and paid cash.  The guy who ran it didn’t bother checking any of her details.  She rewarded him by curing his arthritis while his back was turned on her.  

Alex stepped through the door of their room.  It smelled of mold and cigarettes and she wrinkled her nose.  Steve placed a hand on the middle of her back.  She turned to face him.

“I am really proud of you, Alex.”  He said, pulling her into his arms.  “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant with you since you got back. I’ve been having trouble seeing the girl I fell in love with.”

Alex wrapped her arms around his waist.  “You can see her now?”

Steve nodded and placed a light kiss on her temple.  

“Steve.”  Alex breathed.  “I need you.”

The words awoke something in him.  He wanted to make love to her like they hadn’t since the first time.  Really connect with her again.  He cupped her chin in his large hand and kissed her, guiding her backwards towards the bed.  Her fingers fumbled at the buttons on his shirt as their lips caressed each other.  The first time they had made love Alex had been the confident one.  She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid of it.  Steve was shy, uncertain, afraid of making a mistake.  It was like their roles had been reversed.  Alex was scared that if she made one wrong move it would be over again. She would lose him for good.  Steve just wanted her.

He pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the corner of the room, and then grabbed hers and yanked it off over her head.  She unhooked her bra, and let it fall from her arms.  There was a brief pause as they admired each other’s physique.  They had both been made thanks to the super soldier serum.  Steve’s muscular body a direct result of the serum, giving him height and muscle mass.  Her body however was crafted by her to be exactly what she wanted.  It was like it was airbrushed and straight from the pages of a magazine.  

He fell on her, kissing her, exploring her mouth, grazing his teeth over her lips.  He moved along her jaw, nipping at her earlobe, causing her to moan and her head to roll back.  He kissed down her neck, sucking on the skin, biting at it, knowing he couldn’t mark her, but trying anyway.  He ran the point of his tongue along her collar bone, and as he did he lifted her up and moved her back onto the bed, so she was lying in the middle of it.  He moved to her breasts.  He sucked one nipple into his mouth and bit at the hard peak.  She gasped and arched against him.  He loved how her body responded to him.  He needed it.  Craved it.

He moved further down, trailing his lips along her skin.  He reached the top of her shorts and he yanked them from her.  He bit the inside of her thigh, and sucked on the skin.  

“Please, Steve.”  Alex murmured.  It felt like she was a bundle of tightly wound, exposed nerves, waiting for release.  Her whole body screamed out for him.  She wanted him.  Needed him to take her.

His tongue entered her folds.  She whined, and squirmed under him. He lapped at her.  When his tongue hit her clit it sent a shock wave through her and she made this guttural primal sound.  He pushed two fingers inside of her moist entrance.  She cried out bucking against him.

“Steve, please.  I need you.”  She moaned as he worked his fingers inside of her, rolling them inside, as she clenched her walls around him.  

He sat up and unfastened his fly, pushing his trousers down.  He moved so he was positioned above her.  His cock pressed against her mound.  

“I love you, Steve.”  Alex whispered, reaching her hands to his face, tracing them along his lips, and down his jaw.

He kissed her, it was deep and tender and full of all the desire he had for her.  For them together.  He entered her.  

They were as one again, moving, clenching, thrusting together, bringing each other closer and closer to climax.  The began to moan, and grunt against each other.  Alex ran her hands through Steve’s hair, tugging at it.  When they came, they came together, holding each other.  Moaning each other’s name.

* * *

Alex stood in the clearing of the forest facing Bruce.  She felt calm and in control.  The others had taken them to a place far from anywhere, where no one could be hurt if something went wrong.  They were on comms, listening but out of reach if they Hulk came to defend his place on this world.  Alex was not worried though.  The Hulk couldn’t hurt her, and she could do this.

“Are you ready?”  Alex asked smiling at Bruce.  

“I’m not sure.  I feel like this is too good to be true.”  He said.  He was jittery, rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“You need to be calm.  He’s going to fight back.”

Bruce sighed.  “I know, which is exactly why I’m not calm.”

Alex put her hands on Bruce’s chest and slid them outwards.   “I can do this.”

Bruce took a deep breath and nodded.

She looked into him again, assessed his cells and her powers engaged.  She started changing him, repairing the cells, sending the repaired cells out to replace the damaged ones.  It was going well, not rapidly, but smoothly.  He was changing, returning to the person he was supposed to be.

The Hulk fought back.  His body started changing, the damaged cells fighting for control.  Alex doubled down, fighting him, changing them back.  Bruce tried to control it, tried to hold the Hulk back, keep him buried.   He fell to the ground, panting, his body convulsing. She knelt down beside him, holding him as she focused on fixing this.

She had this.  She did.  She was winning.  

And then she wasn’t.  Her energy dropped.  She couldn’t keep it up. He was wrestling control from her.

Bruce looked up at her, his face contorted in pain.  “Run!”  He yelled.

She powered down and ran.  She didn’t get far.  The Hulk had her. He held her in one hand, crushing her.  She tried to use her powers to protect herself, they engaged, he skin became a hard shell.  The Hulk smashed her onto the ground and the shell shattered.  Her energy was waning.  

“Steve!”  She screamed.  “Steve!  Can you hear me!”

“What is it, Alex?  What’s happened!”

The Hulk was crushing her, she could feel her bones crack and break under the pressure he exerted on her.  As they broke they repaired, draining her of more energy only to have them break again.  “The Hulk.  He won.  I couldn’t do it.”  

The world started to swim, he was crushing the life from her.  

“We’re coming, Alex.  We’ll get you.”  

“It’s too late, Steve.  I love you.”  She said.  It was barely a whisper.  This was right.  She needed to die.  She didn’t belong in this world.  Steve would be sad, but he’d move on.  She would be at peace knowing for one night she had been good enough for him.  “I love you, okay.”

“Alex, stay with me.  I love you, please hold on.  We’re coming.”

That was the last thing she heard.  The world went black.


End file.
